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FOREWORD – TALK THAT SINGS

In my first book The Heart’s Narrative I used the description ‘Talk That Sings’ in an attempt to highlight the therapeutic endeavour of finding and creating language that closely represents people’s experiential lives. I was also trying to find the language that accurately described the experiences I had in therapeutic relationships. However, the process of finding language provided me with only a temporary resting place where I could experience the living applicability of this language.

I began to write Talk That Sings after the first Heart’s Narrative workshop in 2000. Listening to the descriptions I gave of the actual therapeutic work, together with

the answers I constructed to people’s questions, jostled around and against the textual descriptions I was using. I was particularly drawn to extend and enrich the language I had previously used to describe the construction of the relational ‘I’. This involved naming the numerous technical skills that I use to generate a sense of agency, movement and change. Although Talk That Sings extends my description of the clinical work, I consider this book complements rather than surpasses The Heart’s Narrative.

In Talk That Sings I have taken the opportunity to theoretically and practically describe the relational language-making strategies I use. I believe the use of relational language is pivotal in making both, the often taken-for-granted characteristics of identity visible, and exposing the versions of ‘truth’ people live within. In creating the relational through language, I propose it is possible to make change by languaging into existence the resources people have or could have.

The making of relational language has provided me with a practical resource that enables us (therapist and client) to negotiate a consensus of meaning in regard to significant identity and reality constructing notions. When the relational comes into being through language we can experience a relational consciousness in the making and re-making of the self.

While I was writing Talk That Sings, I was aware of previous criticism of my work where I have been considered either ‘not academic enough’ or ‘too academic’. While I don’t expect to escape this binary, I am offering you (the reader) a variety of ways to begin an engagement with this text. Consequently the book is divided into three sections. I hope these three sections will invite you (the reader) to approach my work from the vantage point that connects you to a sense of intrigue about the dilemmas we experience as people and as counsellors.

In Section One, ‘Relational Consciousness Is The Difference’, I emphasis the theoretical presuppositions that underpin the clinical work I do. I use clinical examples to demonstrate these theoretical constructs.

In Section Two, ‘Relationally Speaking’, I represent 10 key technical practices that I use in therapeutic work. Throughout this section I provide clinical examples and exercises, which will support you (the reader) to develop a resource-centered clinical practice.

In Section Three, ‘Emphasising the Practice’, I demonstrate the relevance of the theory and the technical application of the theory in three central areas:
The power of the measure (working with individuals).
Couple work (with an emphasis on relationship injuries).
Working with children, young people and their families.

Completing this book has been an urgent priority for me. This urgency consists of two strands.

The first is the desire to contribute, which is an ethic born of my family. I believe the use of relational language-making and relational consciousness can significantly contribute to the development of resource-focussed therapeutic practices, which will enact collaboration and respect. Central to this proposition is the view I hold that relational language-making provides us with the capability to negotiate the often complex, contradictory and fragmented nature of power relations.

The second strand is the desire to free myself from feeling an obligation to continue to represent these clinical discoveries in workshops, presentations and conferences. Talk That Sings will inevitably provide me with other metaphoric resting places. However, in the future I plan to use this resting place to prioritise re-searching the clinical areas I am particularly drawn to.

Janet Frame’s short story,The Birds Began To Sing (1983, pp.24-25), sounds a warning to human-kind. Her spare yet vivid and poignant prose illuminates the destruction wrought when the human species is positioned as central and separate from all that is living. The human character in the story attempts to conscript and possess the blackbirds living song. Consequently:
“They stopped singing. It was dark outside although the sun was shining. It was dark and there was no more singing.”

Her writing is more eloquent than mine, but in the spirit of this short story I am also sounding ‘a warning’ that is particularly cogent for the human sciences. In the Western world it seems we are driven to own, patent and copyright in an attempt to possess. I believe this act of possession or ownership can destroy or background the environment which fosters the development of creativity. This process is represented in the commodification of therapy and the privileging of textual knowledge over the actual clinical practice. Talk That Sings represents my attempt to provide people with a temporary theoretical and technical platform from which to make discoveries. I am hopeful that this temporary platform will function as a springboard for you (the reader) to develop the metaphoric representations that bring you closer to the theoretical and clinical practice discoveries you will make.

CONTENTS - TALK THAT SINGS

SECTION ONE - RELATIONAL CONSCIOUSNESS IS THE DIFFERENCE

CHAPTER ONE
THE POLITICS OF LANGUAGE-MAKING

• INTRODUCTION
• LANGUAGE IS THE DIFFERENCE
• THE POLITICS OF RELATIONAL CONSCIOUSNESS
• LANGUAGE MATTERS
• CHALLENGING THE POSSESSIVE
• HOW DOES LANGUAGE IMPACT ON THE SOCIO-POLITICAL CONTEXT?
• REVEALING POWER RELATIONS THROUGH RELATIONAL LANGUAGE
• DIALOGUE AND EXPERIENTIAL KNOWLEDGE
• THE POWER TO DEFINE

CHAPTER TWO
MAKING RELATIONAL LANGUAGE

• INTRODUCTION
• THE CREATING OF RELATIONAL CONSCIOUSNESS THROUGH LANGUAGE
• A COMPARISON OF RELATIONAL LANGUAGE-MAKING AND INTERNALISING LANGUAGE PRACTICE IN A CLINICAL CONTEXT
• CONSTRUCTING THE CONTINUOUS PRESENT
• EMPHASISING THE ACTIVE ‘I’ IN THE PRESENT MOMENT
• A COMMON TRAP
• CREATING A RELATIONAL PRESENCE IN ORDER TO ESCAPE THE BINARY
• GENERATING METAPHORS OF MOVEMENT

CONCLUSION

SECTION TWO - RELATIONALLY SPEAKING
INTRODUCTION

CHAPTER THREE
INTRODUCING RELATIONAL CONSCIOUSNESS AND RELATIONAL USE OF LANGUAGE THROUGH THE EVERYDAY

• INTRODUCTION
• REFLECTING ON THE EVERYDAY
• USING RELATIONAL LANGUAGE TO BEGIN TO NEGOTIATE BINARIES
• FINDING RELATIONAL PRESENCE BY ESCAPING THE BINARY IN THE EVERYDAY
• MOVING THE POSSESSIVE
• LIVING THE PRACTICE

CHAPTER FOUR
PRACTISING THE RELATIONAL

• INTRODUCTION
• HOW DO I MAKE THE RELATIONAL
• DEVELOPING A RELATIONAL LANGUAGE PRACTICE
• AN EXERCISE IN WORKING WITH THE TRANSCRIPT

CHAPTER FIVE
MAINTAINING A PRACTICAL DECONSTRUCTIVE ATTITUDE TO THE LANGUAGE WE USE WHILE RECONSTITUTING THIS LANGUAGE INTO THE RELATIONAL.

• INTRODUCTION
• RECONSTITUTING LANGUAGE
• EXPOSING THE SOCIO-POLITICAL CONTEXT
• MOVEMENT BETWEEN IDEA AND PRACTICES

CHAPTER SIX
CREATING THE CONTEXTUAL ENVIRONMENT

• INTRODUCTION
• MAKING THE CONTEXTUAL
• NARRATING THROUGH DIALOGUE
• SUSTAINING AN ATTITUDE OF DISCOVERY THROUGH A DETAILED ENQUIRY
• THE LIMITATION OF TEXT

CHAPTER SEVEN
THE POWER RELATION IN PRACTICE

• INTRODUCTION
• DOES POWER EXIST
• WORKING WITH THE POWER RELATION
• THE NEGOTIATION OF WILLINGNESS
• EXPOSE OF INTENTION TO THE THERAPY/TO THE PERSON
• THE POWER RELATION AND MANAGEMENT

CHAPTER EIGHT
THE THERAPEUTIC RELATIONSHIP - A REVIEW

• INTRODUCTION
• THERAPEUTIC RELATIONAL POSITIONS
• RELATIONAL CONSCIOUSNESS, THE CONTRIBUTOR POSITION AND THE POWER RELATION
• NEGOTIATING THE UNKNOWN
• THE CONFLATING OF MEANING WITHIN THE THERAPEUTIC RELATIONSHIP

CHAPTER NINE
WORKING WITH THE IMAGINATIVE RESOURCE

• INTRODUCTION
• WHAT IS THE IMAGINATIVE RESOURCE
• USING THE IMAGINATION IN THE THERAPEUTIC CONVERSATION

CHAPTER TEN
CREATING CHANGE

• INTRODUCTION
• THE DISCOVERY OF DIFFERENCE IN THE PRESENT MOMENT
• WORKING WITH TIME IN THE PRESENT MOMENT
• DRAWING THE CONVERSATIONAL THREADS TOGETHER
• SUSTAINING THERAPEUTIC DISCOVERIES IN THE EVERYDAY

CONCLUSION

SECTION THREE: ILLUSTRATING THE THERAPEUTIC PRACTICE

INTRODUCTION

CHAPTER ELEVEN
THE POWER OF THE MEASURE

• INTRODUCTION
• CONTEXTUAL ENQUIRY
• NEGOTIATING THE NAME
• CENSORING THROUGH THE MEASURE
• SLOWING THE CONVERSATION DOWN
• PEOPLE’S RESPONSES TO BEING IMMERSED WITHIN A DETRIMENTAL MEASURING PROCESS, SUCH AS 'I’M NOT GOING TO MEASURE UP’
• THE MEASURE WHICH MUTATES TO EXIST
• THE PARENTAL MEASURE
• WORKING WITH CONTRADICTIONS
• NAMING AND IDENTIFYING STRATEGIES USED FOR SURVIVAL
• CONTROLLING THE UNCONTROLLABLE
• CONCLUSION

CHAPTER TWELVE
WORKING WITH COUPLES

• INTRODUCTION
• EXPERIENCING THE RELATIONAL
• RELATIONAL LANGUAGE-MAKING AND THE RELATIONAL
• NEGOTIATING RELATIONSHIP CHANGES
• FINDING A NAME FOR THE EXPERIENCE
• INJURIES TO THE RELATIONSHIP
• ACKNOWLEDGEMENT AS A BEGINNING POINT
• THE PROCESS OF DISCOVERY
• VIOLENCE AS A RELATIONSHIP INJURY
• WORKING WITH COMPLEXITY

CHAPTER THIRTEEN
WORKING WITH CHILDREN, YOUNG PEOPLE AND FAMILIES

• INTRODUCTION
• MEETING CHILDREN/YOUNG PEOPLE IN THEIR WORLDS
• WORKING ALONE WITH A CHILD/YOUNG PERSON
• WORKING WITH THE FAMILY
• EXPLORING THE CONTEXTUAL ENVIRONMENT WITH CHILDREN/YOUNG PEOPLE
• EXTERNALISING AND RELATIONAL LANGUAGE IN THE WORK WITH FAMILIES
• CONVERSATIONAL STYLE WITH ADULTS AND YOUNG PEOPLE
• KNOWING THE PROBLEM THROUGH CONSTRUCTING DETAIL
• DISCOVERING AND CONSTRUCTING THE CHILD’S/YOUNG PERSON’S RESOURCES
• TRANSFORMING CONCERNS
• WORKING WITH THE IMAGINATION
• THE CONCERN THAT SUPPORTS THE CONCERN
• WORKING WITH SILENCE
• THE CONTEXT OF SAFETY
• THE DOING OF CHANGE

CHAPTER FOURTEEN
STORY-MAKING WITH CHILDREN

• INTRODUCING POSSIBILITIES THROUGH TELLING STORIES
• STORY 1: INTRODUCING THE LAND OF FORGETTING
• STORY 2: INTRODUCING HOLD ON
• STORY 3: INTRODUCING THE SISTERS STORY
• STORY 4: INTRODUCING IT’S NOT FAIR
• STORY 5: INTRODUCING THE SHADOW
• STORIES AS A BEGINNING
• CONCLUSION

NOTES

REFERENCES